Tuesday, August 7, 2012

World of Tanks: The Matchmaker Won't Save You Because It's You That Sucks

I finally got a chance to jump in and play a dozen or so matches in World of Tanks over the last week since the new patch hit. This update sees the most dramatic changes to game balance since....well, since ever. It's been over a year since WoT launched officially and since day one (or day -60 if you count beta) the punters have been clamoring for changes to the match maker. "We can't compete", they cried, "against tanks three-four tiers higher, we want it to BE MOAR FAIR".

Well your day has come my whinging friends and let me be the first to tell you (and this may be both a shock, and hurt your pride somewhat) that the improved matchmaker isn't going to make you any better. In fact, you still suck. No, it's true. I played a few matches with you over the last week (yes, it was you, I assure you) and you still don't work with your teammates, you still don't know the maps very well, you still don't know what role your tank is supposed to play, and heaven forbid we get an assault mode, you still don't know how to play it.

The problem with the matchmaker, the only problem, was with the tank match-ups at the top level. It didn't really matter if you were put into a tier IX battle with your trusty tier V tank. You know why? Because there were other tier V tanks in that match as well. You weren't supposed to be able to do anything to that bloody IS4 that was on the top of the list. It wasn't your assigned role. Don't even get me started on the dedicated scouts crying that they were put into a high tier match. Learn your freaking role or change tanks please.

So, yes, when the matchmaker continually put, say the Tier IX medium E50 on the top of your team while the opposition had only Tier IX heavies, that was a problem. I understand the frustration of being 'on the bottom' of the list, tier-wise, but being more evenly matched isn't actually going to make you better because now you'll just get killed by better players who are in similar, or just slightly higher-tiered tanks to you. In fact it may be slightly worse because whose going to kill them for you? The only thing that's going to change is the excuse that the 'average' player uses for why they got killed by some HAXOR in the same tier tank as them.

Don't believe me? Well, each to their own, but I run the XVM mod which highlights the 'below average' players in red and no matter what tier they are, what the matchmaker spread is, or if they are on the top or bottom, they still play bad, die first, and leave the rest of us green-and-above colored players to pick up the pieces, or not as the case may be.

Oh, and while I'm ranting, for the last bloody time, new tanks does not equal new content. Stop letting them fool you into thinking they are adding content. It's the equivalent of a casino adding a new slot machine with green apple colored fruit instead of red. There. I said it. That is all. Resume your regular gaming program.

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