I suppose I should tell you how happy and joyful I am as a new parent and how thrilled I am that there is a new life to care and nurture, but instead I'm going to tell you the truth: Holy Fuck I'm Glad That's Over. And yes, the capital letters on each word are intentional. Never have I been witness to such a horrible, anxiety producing, emotional situation as the birth of my daughter and I've seen a bloody hell of a lot of things, let me tell you.
Forty (40) hours of labor and almost every possible medical intervention imaginable shattered what we expected to be a run-of-the-mill natural (ish) birth. I'm going to spare you all the details (they are, after all, quite private) but let me just say if they would have had a walk-in-vasectomy clinic beside the labor ward I would have pushed my new baby aside to have rushed in for the procedure. Really. Everyone is saying, oh just wait you'll see, you'll want more, etc, etc, but I can say, with the greatest of confidences to them: balls to that. I was there, and they were not. Watching She Who Will Be Named Later endure that long, hellish ordeal, and then watching the heartbeat of New Mouth To Feed drop lower, and lower.... well I know my limits, and for children, it's one. Definitely one.
Both mother and baby are fine: healthy and happy. Sleep is starting to come in 3-hour bursts and the emotional and physical exhaustion is beginning to ebb. I've even managed to sneak some gaming in and am rather enjoying staying up late watching movies on the BBC. I've impressed upon New Mouth To Feed that Wales has an excellent Rugby team and by her lack of argument to the contrary, she seems to agree. I am now off work, and thanks to Canada's generous parental leave laws, I don't have to return until February, 2013. Yea, that's right, work is for suckers. Just imagine all the gaming I'll be able to do...er, I mean parenting of course. It shouldn't be long before she's big enough for one of those cool back-packs which will allow me to keep her happy (and asleep) while I continue to blast noobs in World Of Tanks. That will make the all-night sessions more than bearable!
Happy Friday Everyone!