Friday, May 4, 2012

Fortuitious Friday: Never Post While Drunk

I was initially going to leave this post blank just to show I am able to take direction, thank you very much previous employer #18, even if it's only my own. I tend to find that of all the people who've given me advice over the years it's me who makes the most sense. Ah well, what can you do? Until I rule the world I guess I'll have to begrudgingly accept that there are other people in the world and try as I might they will continue to foist their opinions onto my over-taxed patience.

So the Newbie Blogger Initiative is underway in an attempt to get as many new bloggers up and blogging as possible. Many established bloggers are offering their sound advice and tips learned from years in the blogging trenches. Here's one they may not give, should you be one of those aspiring bloggers who has turned to me as a potential role model:

Don't post while drunk.

That's right, don't post anything after you've had a few. God knows what might be the result. You may, for instance, tell Syncaine that Eve ain't no better than any other crappy MMO filled with egotistical ass-hats, and just because it's his new love doesn't mean it's the greatest game in the world. He'd then use all his (likely) evil powers to see that you never blogged in this town again!

Whatever happened to those days, anyway, where the lawmen were so bad that they could tell you to get out of town, and you'd listen? I mean it's not like they were telling Johnny Church-Goer, who never hurt so much as a cat (and everyone knows cats deserve it) to get out of town, it was some really bad dudes. You know the type- ride into town, shoot their horse because they can't be arsed to tie it up, hit the saloon, order up some frilly prostitutes to treat like shit, cheat at some cards, and leave a trail of bodies three-feet deep in their wake.

Yea, that's a bad dude alright. And here comes the Sheriff, cool as can be, to tell them to get out of their town by sun-up. That took some guts thought why you'd give then the whole night to cause trouble is beyond me. If you're gonna run them out of town best to get them out as soon as, if you ask me.

Right, well, I'm not actually drunk though I expect when I look back on this post I'd wish I had that as an excuse to fall back on. I was off the booze totally, you see, until Thursday when She Who Will Be Named Later was 'examined' and we learned that New Mouth To Feed wouldn't be coming in the next couple days. Something to do with her Clavicle not being open or some such. I'm not so good with the details, but you get the idea.

From Monday onward it's going to be 'any day' but for this weekend I have a bit of a reprieve, and by reprieve I mean leave to have a few drinks without worry that I'd have to take my pregnant, laboring wife to the hospital while drunk. I can see it now, all the nurses, acting all disgusted because I'm not sober at such a critical time in our lives. Those nurses. Such an attitude on them!

So I'm just back from the pub (I only had one, Sheriff, I swear) and I'm going to settle down with a half-bottle of wine (real stuff too, not the cooking wine or the grain-based homemade stuff I keep in the toilet cistern for emergencies) and play some games. Happy Friday indeed!


  1. Two principles of blogging sometimes contradict each other.

    1) Don't post while impaired.
    2) Don't go too long between posts.

    It is a delicate balance.

  2. It is indeed. Finally, someone who understands. It helps if you post early in the day, thus reducing the chances you'll be (too) drunk depending, of course, on how long the session went the night before.