Friday, December 30, 2011

Fortuitous Friday: It's a Girl!

Ahhh the New Year. Another calender-based milestone gone and in it's place...... the same thing  with a different name. I'm not a huge 'New Year, Fresh Start' kinda guy. Same shit, different pile would be more like it. I don't do resolutions and it's been years since I went out and really got smashed to bring in the new year (I do it quietly at home now). I'll still go the gym as much (or as little as the case may be) as I ever did and all my annoying habits? They'll carry on.

This year, I have to say, is a little different because in the 'new year' there will be some major changes. After over a year of trying, She Who Will Be Named Later has informed me that we will soon have a New Mouth To Feed. Huzzah?

After 40+ years of avoiding the dreaded 'father-hood' I am officially going to be a father. Just looking at that statement seems ridiculous. I've put it off for so long for a very good reason: I don't like kids. That's not to say I hate kids, but if it was a choice between getting punched in the face and hanging with some kids, well, bring me some ice. Of course it will be different with my own (we can only hope) and I did enter into this willingly (I wasn't raped, honest) so hold off on those calls to Child Welfare! It'll all work out (I'm sure).

My Christmas treat, this year, then, was the ultrasound which showed us our healthy baby girl bouncing about inside She Who Will Be Named Later. Pictures? Sure, but who wants to see other peoples kids? I know I sure don't, so I've spared you that particular torture. I have to admit that while I was very interested in finding out the sex of New Mouth To Feed (and yes, I was hoping for a girl), I did drift in-and-out mentally and spent a great deal of time thinking about some new Clown Loaches I had just got to replace the ones who were ravaged by the Ich infestation. Maybe it was all that swimming about New Mouth To Feed was doing, or maybe I'm not 100% invested in the idea of being a father yet. We have to accept that fish, games, and other distractions may actually be more interesting for me than kids (even my own), in which case maybe we should get that number for Child Welfare after all. At least I am not alone.

Time will tell, and you just never know, and whatever other cheesy saying you'd like to insert. I am going to suggest to She Who Will Be Named Later that rather than saving for university for her, we should look at setting up a Counseling Fund so she can sort herself out once she reaches adult-hood. It may take a professional team of psychiatrists to help her understand why her 'quality' time with Dad consisted of being strapped to the dog and chucked out in the yard to play rodeo while he played World Of Tanks..... but only on the 5X experience weekends. I'm not a monster, after all.

Happy Friday Everyone, and Happy New Year! Stay safe and look out for one another.


  1. Your attitude to children appear to closely mimic my own. Hopefully you won't follow the legions of modern day parents who live their hollow lives vicariously through their narcissistic offspring.

    Oh, and congrats, blah blah blah.

  2. Congrats Gank! My 4 yr old is proof that you can hate people and still be a loving dad. Sleep now and as often as you can until your little bundle is due. ;>

    See you on the battlefield in the new year!