Wednesday, July 13, 2011

80,000 Leagues Under the Wurm: Mit Breasts!

After finding such a rich haul of booty I did what any sensible adventurer would do: I went home. It seemed a little, well, easy, that on my first day out I hit the jackpot. I decided that a bigger adventure called for a bigger boat. I also needed to take care of some things back home but realized a lot of these mundane tasks could be attended to by someone other than me. The solution: roll an alt!

My Girl Friday (yes, terribly clever I agree)




Meet Friday. General handy-woman, chore-mistress, and boring-task doer. Who better to stand aimlessly in front of a wall spamming 'mine' for hours on end? I've got better things to do, don't I? It fits with my altoholic nature and its free, so why not!

I tidied up the deed, put Friday to work, and ordered a Corbita: a much larger ship that would hold more and allow me to transport all that rock poor Friday was mining from the public mine some distance from my place (yes the mine I once made my home in and tried to claim as my very own until the locals turned on me). It works great in that capacity but it really sucks as an exploration vessel.



My first time out I got stuck on hidden sandbars, ran aground, and realized that 2 km/hour into the wind wouldn't get me very far, very fast. My strength was too low to drag it so every-time I got stuck I had to 'push' it which actually consists of clicking on the boat, selecting move, and then push.....multiple times. This grind was both boring and pointless as it offered no skill gain. I turned around, unloaded my adventurer supplies into the sailboat, and headed out...once again.

My destination was set. I was off to that sweet location where I made the great score not so long ago. I knew there was another chest there that had yet to decay (or I ran out of lock-picks and couldn't pop it...can't remember which...memories a bit hazy). Who knows what treasure awaited me? Well, I'm not sure who, but someone does because by the time I made it back some opportunistic player had deeded the place and that particular chest was empty. Ah well, I think I got the best of what was there and if not I certainly got enough to make me happy.

My plan was to sail around the Wurm- heading east and then turning north, and finally west again at the top of the globe...well, okay Wurm is flat (honest Mr. Columbus, it is) so at the top of the map rather than globe. I would head to Smalingfjord (25x, 11y) and use the canal to get to the Inner Sea. A Cave Canal near Freedom Harbor (30x, 40y) would give me access to Crystal Lake and then it would be a short sail home. I anticipated a boat full of loot, and maybe a stray animal or two would make there way onto the boat (well, behind the boat as they aren't allowed in boats as cargo) as well.

What is it they say about plans? 

The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft agley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!

The gods of Wurm must strive to keep things in balance because my plans were to go horribly askew and I blame it on a very innocent promise I made to pop in and visit Cherry Glade Farm if I was ever in the area. Much like "I'll just go and see what that noise was" while having sex with your girlfriend while staying in a cabin at a creepy lake where a young boy was drowned.....it didn't turn out great for me and I didn't even get a gratuitous look at any breasts before I was cut down.

Fine, I'll add my own gratuitous, sexy boob shot of Danielle Panabaker (star of the Friday the 13th remake 2009)


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