Friday, June 24, 2011

Fortuitous Friday: About A Horse. IRL Edition

Another Friday is upon us and I will soon be enjoying the darkened confines of my favorite pub. I have been freed from my duties at The Gallows for the afternoon and will be meeting She Who Will Be Named Later in our local. Today is her last day at an unloved 'day' job so a victory drink is in order. No more drunken losers, no more weird stalkers, no more self-defence training....... and this was at the public library. I kid you not.

With the none-too-soon farewell to a life of scholarly study (and reporting drunk patrons to security) comes a new opportunity for her, and that is her new-found career as a horse-riding instructor, or as I will hereto refer to it as: Prancing Ponies. In a somewhat bizarre twist on gaming-meets-reality I am now (apparently) the co-owner of my very own, real life horse. Meet Missy:

Missy, of course, will never do. With catchy, monarch-related titles such as The Sultan of Smart, and the Duchess of Dumb, I will have to come up with something clever once I finally meet her. She is a thoroughbred and an ex-champion of something or another. She's also old, which is the only way we could afford her. It was us or the end of the line for this 20-something year-old horse.

I don't know a lot about these things but I do know that every craftsmen (or artist) has their own tools and in this case the tool is a horse. I'd like you to join me in congratulating my wife on realizing her childhood dream of owning her own horse, and teaching others to ride. Well done!

I won't ride her, of course (the horse, not my wife who I will...oh, wait, was that out loud....). I'd like to say it's because my North American upbringing won't allow me to consider it unless I have a rifle, a hat, and a cigarette dangling from my mouth (again, it's the horse we're talking about), but the truth is I'm not allowed. English riding, I have been informed, is for trained persons only and my suggestion to 'give her a spin' didn't go over very well. Similar to Wurm Online where my Body Control isn't high enough to allow me to ride 'Aged Fat Horse' I won't be jumping on Missy any time soon.

Ah well, I'll at least be able to feed her apples and sugar, and she certainly fits the color scheme of our other pets rather nicely.

The Sultan of Smart walking Hadrian's Wall and (likely) contemplating the fall of the Roman Empire
The Duchess of Dumb just being dumb and likely contemplating eating more poop.

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