Thursday, June 30, 2011

Fortuitous Friday: Shhhhhhhh......Don't Tell Blaq

I know what you're thinking: It's not Friday, dummy! You are, of course, right, but have neglected the fact that since tomorrow is a national holiday (yay, Canada!) I have tomorrow off from the Pulp and Paper Mill and so, I submit to you, that this is indeed my Friday. To prove it I'm off to the pub to drink and be merry and (likely) leer at buxom wenches as they bring me pint after pint of ale. That, or I'll have a few and take some furtive, sideways glances at the waitresses in the hopes that She Who Will Be Named Later doesn't notice. Even if she does catch me, recovery is only a moment away with:

"Wow, look at her, what do you think of those shoes?"

It's like a get out jail free card because she'll be so focused on the shoes (trust me) that she'll forget that she caught you looking. If they turn out to be plain, or ugly shoes, you can just shrug and put on your best "I'm only a man, what do I know about shoes" face. Unless you're gay then that's not an excuse because you should know better. But I digress.

I have decided to inject some music into my Fortuitous Fridays and will be starting a "Greatest Show..." series starting next Friday. Blaq over at Don't Mention Ze War can be credited for this with his wonderful music series which has inspired me...or maybe he'll be outraged that I'm blatantly ripping him off...either way, new series inc!

Starting next week I am going to start "The Greatest Show I Never Saw" and highlight the top 5 shows I had a chance to go see, but for a variety of (bizarre) reasons didn't. There will be music, mirth and yes, hijinks will ensue, guaranteed.* I will also cover "The Greatest Show I Ever Saw" in a follow-up series.

Now you may be thinking: Why wait, that sounds great! Post one today! Ahh gentle reader, patience. Good things come to those who wait, and besides, I'm feeling just a wee bit (enormously) lazy today.... and there's beer to drink, remember?

(and buxom wenches for god sake, BUXOM wenches)

*Guarantees offered by the author may or may not be actual guarantees. Hijinks offered, discussed, or remembered by the author are free-to-read, but Ballyhoo is not covered under the free to read model and costs extra in our cash shop. Also offered in the cash shop are Sparkly Memories, Monocled Memories, and Gold Bullet Memories.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Catchy Post Title of the Week

Similar to my "Quote of the Week" this feature isn't actually a part of my blog.... I only use it when I see someting witty that's made me laugh, and then I think:

How can I capitalize on this and take advantage of someone else's work while still making it look like I've done someting? The answer? Made up blog features! Get in.

This comes from West Karana:

DDO: Beholders are racists.

I bloody knew it!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Canada Day and The Fourth Of July: Mit Tank!

Coming soon from the Producers of Snakes on a Plane : Tank on a Stamp.

For those of us in North America the July long-weekend will be a festive celebration of all things national. Here in Canada we like to get the jump on our American counterparts by celebrating early, so Canada Day is Friday, July 1st. Our slower American cousins will be celebrating on Monday July 4th (slow as in calendar, not, you know, mental capacity).

I have celebrated in the US on the 4th of July (I was in Arkansas) and have, of course, celebrated many Canada Days and have found them to be similar in theme and content. There will be beer, bar-b-cue and fireworks on both sides of the border. Parades and national flag waving will abound. I don’t attend anything formal but I can guarantee I will be stuffed full of charred meat and smelling of beer by about 2 pm (and by that, of course, I actually mean 11 am when my self-declared socially acceptable drinking time is reached).

Monday, June 27, 2011

Jokes Over Guys, Where’s The New Show?

Why am I always the last to know? Oh ya, head in the clouds, absent minded, Gank. Good ole Gank. Missed the whole point to this post. I thought they were taking a holiday, you know. A holiday. Didn’t realize they were shutting the whole thing down. Here I was, waiting patiently, thinking, gosh, it’s been over three weeks now, that’s a rather long vacation.

Re-read that post the other day (including comments) and it finally dawned.


A great couple of guys to virtually hang out with, I really liked the podcast/news show. I wish them the all the best and thanks very much for the effort you put in. I’ve listened to a few podcasts and only two have managed to make the short-list. This means all my hopes and dreams (pod-cast related ones at any rate) now rest on the shoulders of the lads at KIASA. Pressures on, guys- entertain me, damn you, or I'll cancel my subscription...oh, wait, they do it for free. Blast them and their good-natured, polite, English souls!

Friday, June 24, 2011

Fortuitous Friday: About A Horse. IRL Edition

Another Friday is upon us and I will soon be enjoying the darkened confines of my favorite pub. I have been freed from my duties at The Gallows for the afternoon and will be meeting She Who Will Be Named Later in our local. Today is her last day at an unloved 'day' job so a victory drink is in order. No more drunken losers, no more weird stalkers, no more self-defence training....... and this was at the public library. I kid you not.

With the none-too-soon farewell to a life of scholarly study (and reporting drunk patrons to security) comes a new opportunity for her, and that is her new-found career as a horse-riding instructor, or as I will hereto refer to it as: Prancing Ponies. In a somewhat bizarre twist on gaming-meets-reality I am now (apparently) the co-owner of my very own, real life horse. Meet Missy:

Missy, of course, will never do. With catchy, monarch-related titles such as The Sultan of Smart, and the Duchess of Dumb, I will have to come up with something clever once I finally meet her. She is a thoroughbred and an ex-champion of something or another. She's also old, which is the only way we could afford her. It was us or the end of the line for this 20-something year-old horse.

I don't know a lot about these things but I do know that every craftsmen (or artist) has their own tools and in this case the tool is a horse. I'd like you to join me in congratulating my wife on realizing her childhood dream of owning her own horse, and teaching others to ride. Well done!

I won't ride her, of course (the horse, not my wife who I will...oh, wait, was that out loud....). I'd like to say it's because my North American upbringing won't allow me to consider it unless I have a rifle, a hat, and a cigarette dangling from my mouth (again, it's the horse we're talking about), but the truth is I'm not allowed. English riding, I have been informed, is for trained persons only and my suggestion to 'give her a spin' didn't go over very well. Similar to Wurm Online where my Body Control isn't high enough to allow me to ride 'Aged Fat Horse' I won't be jumping on Missy any time soon.

Ah well, I'll at least be able to feed her apples and sugar, and she certainly fits the color scheme of our other pets rather nicely.

The Sultan of Smart walking Hadrian's Wall and (likely) contemplating the fall of the Roman Empire
The Duchess of Dumb just being dumb and likely contemplating eating more poop.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

World of Tanks: Clan Wars Woes

The reasons for the introduction of an ‘end-game’ in World of Tanks are easy to understand. From a business point of view developers feel they need to give players something to work toward- keep them interested, keep them focussed so they don’t get bored. A lot of people, I think, felt the introduction of clan-wars would make WoT more ‘mmo’ like. I haven’t given the definition-thing a lot of thought and I don’t really care. WoT is an online game that I play. That’s a good enough definition for me.

Clan Wars is, simply put, a lot like the game Risk. Your clan puts down tokens on territories they wish to own, or defend, and when the timer ends the resulting battles are scheduled. Clans form teams and meet at the appropriate time and place (essentially a scheduled 15 v 15 arena match). For the winner: fame, gold, and territory. For the loser: a repair bill for 15 tanks.

It is a good idea but I think it has been implemented badly, and I hope that (because this is the Clan Wars Beta) some essential changes will be made. The thing that Clan Wars does is that it creates an end game and the inherent elitism and exclusionism that comes with it. I have never been a fan of end-game content (as I’m sure you can tell) and have languished in many an mmo in that netherworld between the starter area and the end-game content. Maybe I can blame my rampant altoholism on that- I’m not sure- but for whatever reason I tend to take a long time to get there.

WoT provides a great deal of choice on the types and amount of tanks you can drive. It encourages it- if you get knocked out you can jump in a new one and join another battle. Each tank can ‘max out’ for its specific tier making it a lot of fun to play. My favourite tank is a Tier 5 and I play it almost daily. That doesn’t mean that I "pwn" every battle as I can be matched against tanks up to tier 8, and they too could be maxed out , which means I definitely don’t have an edge. The point is I that like the tank, have fun with it, and there are a lot of different tanks at different tiers I like and/or want to play. Tier 2 is the Hotchkins (mini-Mauss), Tier 3 is the Marder, Tier 6 the VK3601(H) and more recently, the Tier 7 Tiger.

Clan Wars has created an end-game in which few tanks can truly compete. Clan Wars is dominated by the Tier 9 and 10 big boys. There is little diversity and though tactics still play a large part in who will win it basically boils down to Clan Wars teams comprised of Tier 9-10 heavies with a smattering of Tier 9 mediums, some arty, and a TD for show.

It's somewhat discouraging that although I've been with my clan since Beta I'm not able to participate in the 'end game' with them. I have seen new members come and rise quickly above me in rank simply because they have higher tier tanks. The end game is becomming what all end-games become: the end to a means rather than something nice to do. The fact that I can drive the hatches off a lot of tanks with my Tier 5 medium means absolutely nothing. A real shame as far as I'm concerned.

I think the game is missing an opportunity to keep more people interested in (and ultimately paying for) the game by not having lower-tiered Clan Wars battles in addition to the top end matches. They have run tournaments where the maximum allowable Tier was 5, so the mechanic is already there for Clan Wars (potentially).

There are a lot of provinces with differing gold-values which could serve as a great way to break up the tiers. Lower tiered battles for the ones worth less could be fought groups of lower tiered tanks. This would not only ensure that a lot of players without higher tiered tanks could participate, but it would also ensure that clans with fewer members or who are more casual, could give it a try.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

So Long I Mean, Farewell Dear Warhammer

It's a week (or so) of good-byes. My oft-hated SU-100 in World of Tanks, and now my once-beloved Warhammer. I am taking down my Warhammer page and finally uninstalling the game. Several blogs that I read are still playing, or have returned to, WAR, but I just don't have the desire anymore. I have nothing bad to say (shock of all shocks) about the game. The fact is I never think of it anymore so the time had come to bid it a farewell....that and nobody reads the damn page anyway!

Oh, and the 'so-long shit-game' is an inside joke that involves a bit of the Simpsons (doesn't everything?) and some hijinks involving a Polish guy, an Irishman, a Welshgirl, and a Canadian (but they didn't walk into a bar....well, okay they did- multiple times- but not in this particular case). I could explain it, but like most inside jokes it wouldn't be half as funny or easily understood.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

As The Wurm Turns: About A Horse- Mit Archaeology!

Sunrise over a Cashel. Athenry, Co. Galway, Ireland. Copyright: Me!
Towing a horse behind your sailboat isn’t easy. It is one of the few creatures in-game that can swim, but while there is no danger to it’s life, the game UI makes it a bit difficult to do so. It takes a lot of embarking, equipping, and clicking to get it right, so every time I stopped to eat, or explore I had to go through a frustrating ritual in addition to worrying about the horse being taken or wandering off. I persevered and asked in local in each area I came into if anyone wanted to buy a horse. No takers.

I real life I was about two weeks into my three week stint away from home at this point. In-game the virtual face of the horse was growing on me and the responsibility I felt for it, compounded by the fact I was missing my real dogs, was growing. I realized two things. I was going to go premium in Wurm, and I was going to have to found a settlement to keep this stupid horse.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

So Long SU-100, Thanks For The...Well, Just So Long

Another complaint-based SU-100 post, you groan? I can’t bear it, you think to yourself, why won't this guy just shut up? Never fear, good reader, there is no complaining inc, you may breath your sigh of relief.

Somewhere around battle number 150 I made peace with the SU-100: much like Lt. Dan during the storm in Forest Gump. I didn’t start to do any better, or worse, with the tank (and there were no magic legs involved), but I started to understand it. It certainly took long enough, I will agree. I also took heart because I made the decision that I would retire it after my 200th battle. I would sell it and move on..... to the SU-152.

The final stats.
Yes, I am a sucker for punishment, and the tiny addict voice in me is says: "Just one more in the line, how bad can it be?” It’s that line of thinking that once saw me lose $250 in a single night at the casino, but in the end it’s not the loss that matters the lesson that is (hopefully) learned. That night was the last time I ever lost money in a casino because I:

1. Got a whole lot better at Blackjack and
2. Stopped going to casino’s when I moved to Europe.
Do I know where I went wrong with the SU-100? Yes and no. Will I do better with the SU-152? Who knows? I am taking the crew forward and since they maxed out at 100% skill, and all have taken camouflage training they are much better at their role. I have played a variety of tanks by now and I can see that while some tanks in a given line may not be that great, or just not suit you very well, others may shine. The other point to make is it is, in the end, only a game and there’s no harm in trying out a pile of tanks just because you can.

I did not, unfortunately (despite the support of my platoon-mates) go out in a blaze of glory and my last battle in the SU-100 was, fittingly, a loss. I didn’t even manage to get a kill, but at least I survived. Perhaps it was compromise of sorts between us- grizzled veteran of 200 battles and tired machine- but you can rest assured that I transferred the crew to barracks, stripped the mods, and sold that piece of crap the second I was done! Now I just have to save up 1.2 million credits to buy the SU-152. Hmm..... maybe if I hit the casino tonight I can win some fast cash, use it to buy gold, and convert the gold to credits. By god, that’s a brilliant plan! What could possibly go wrong?

How I'd like to remember the SU-100: A shot from my best performance with it.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Fortuitous Friday: The Curious Case of Batman and the Moose

Of all the search terms which have guided viewers to my humble blog this one strikes me as the most bizzarre:

batman photos taken at moose game march 20, 2011

First of all: huh? What the heck are you actually looking for, and secondly: Why the heck am I a hit off this one? I punched that into Google and checked the first 10 pages of results and I'm no where on it. Ahh well, just another mystery to ponder I guess..... or so you'd think.

I wrote that in April and decided to dig it up for today's Fortuitous Friday Post

Unfortunately for you (or perhaps fortunately if you are an fan of Moose-related mysteries) I have an inquiring mind, and I want to know. Part of what I do on a daily basis to earn the money which keeps She Who Will Be Named Later in the manner to which she's become accustomed (mostly broke I'm afraid, but like I said, she's used to it now) is...well, never mind all that., it is Top Secret, after all.

Let's just say I've done some digging and (much like every murder-mystery I watch lately) have figured it out in rather short order.

The solution to this mystery, (Mit Fotos!) is as follows:

I live in a province called Saskatchewan, which is large, and rural (yes it's as grim as you think it is)

We are bordered to the east by a province called Manitoba (even more grim)

Canadian stereotypes exist for a reason.

Manitoba has a hockey team called the Moose.

On March 20, 2011 the Moose had a family day promotion in which Batman made an appearance:

The Manitoba Moose are hosting 'Family Day' at MTS Centre when the Moose take on the Texas Stars in a matinee face-off on Sunday, March 20th. Game time is 2:00 PM. In the afternoon Moose home game, fans will be treated to in-game entertainment fit for all ages. Fans will get a chance to meet Batman: The Dark Knight who will be in attendance at the game to take pictures with fans. There will also be jugglers, face painters and other entertainers spread throughout the MTS Centre concourse for young fans
So there you have it. Move over Angela Landsbury  there's a new detective in town! I suppose I'd rather be Sherlock Homes, especially the new version, whom I rather like (and can relate to).

EDIT: As Sara pointed out in her post below, I forgot to mention the actual connection to my blog. I did a post entitled The Sitting of the Moose-eslature on March 20, 2011. The dots are now connected :)

While I'm on the subject of Hockey can I just say that after the Vancouver riots on Wednesday night I am happy that Boston won. I have to admit, I didn't really follow the road to the Stanley Cup at all this year but from everything I've seen and heard (and the brief time I spent watching because when a Canadian says they haven't been following the hockey it does not mean they haven't been watching) Boston deserved it.

Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada 2011-06-13

There, I've said it, let the deportation proceedings begin. Rioting idiots aside, what's not to like about Boston? Original 6 team, hard-hitting, come-from-behind story-tale, and oh, did I forget to mention: FULL of Canadian players. Boston had more Canadian players on their roster than Vancouver so I think we've won (as a nation) no matter what city the cup rests in. Besides with all the f***ing diving the (sorry, but it has to be said now) European players were doing you'd think they were playing a game of football. Given the massive (un) popularity of that game here in North America (yes, world, we know you love it) it should stand to reason that football tactics aren't welcomed.

So congratulations to Boston fans the players, and especially to Don Cherry who must be thrilled.

Take care of that cup boys, I want it clean and shiny when my beloved Habs finally win it again.

It's Friday and I couldn't be arsed posting a picture of some sweaty guys I don't know holding the cup. That's why.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

As The Wurm Turns: About A Horse I

So my plan was to have a grand adventure. A swashbuckling affair upon the high seas. I was taken with the idea of being a nomad. No one could tie me down- tend crops? Bah, that’s boring. Build a house? Who needs to be tied to one spot? There is a large Wurm-world just waiting to be explored and I was going to see it by god!

Player-built monstrosities such as this mirror the ancient wonders. A blatant display of the ability to gather resources and command labor.

I decided to spend the silver that came with my premium subscription on the biggest boat I could get (as determined by my Mind Logic skill). It wasn’t a yacht but at least it wasn’t a row-boat! My new sailboat was delivered by the shipbuilder right to my door...or rather to my cave entrance. And by ‘my cave’ I of course mean the ‘public mine’ with ‘mine’ still being foremost in my mind.

This self-absorbed me first mentality can be blamed on two things. First on my childhood in which I was blessed with no sibling to share with, and secondly on the fast-paced me-first world of North America where ‘What’s in it for me?’ takes it’s place as our National cry right beside ‘Do they have oil?’ which is, of course, our Foreign Military Intervention Policy (unless the nation is comprised mostly of Black people in which we don’t seem to care if there is oil or not we just stay the hell out...hey, I’m only saying.....).

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Lucky Customer #200 or Where's My Pants?

As a newbie blogger I am fascinated by my stats, and curious as to who stops by. I doubt that I'm alone in this, and I must say I've been quite thrilled that my Tank Justice post has managed to rustle up so much interest. I just checked my figures (not that figure, it's all out of shape as the Summer Cold has kept me from the gym, but not the gin, <cue Irish accent> thanks be to god) and it is now my most viewed post of all time at 199. Take that 'Eve Online: Judged'. Now you're number two which technically're the loser.

How exciting. Who'll be number 200? I'm getting tingles just thinking about it. I should have balloons falling when it happens, and perhaps a band on stand-by, but since I'd have to do it at my own place the magical 200th person would never see it anyway. I suppose I could arrange to have balloons drop at their place but then there would be all those awkward questions like:

What the hell are you doing in my house?]

How did you find me?

And the inevitable:

Where are your pants?

Sigh- these misunderstandings never seem to go my way, so I suppose I'll just eagerly await Mr, Mrs, or Miss (the hell with the Ms crap, you're married or your not damnit) quietly in my own place.....with or without pants because who's here to care? The Sultan of Smart and the Duchess of Dumb? Please, they could care less and given that the Duchess of Dumb has now eaten almost every sock in the house it appears she prefers me, at least partially, naked. Since She Who Will Be Named Later is, once again, teaching fine Canadian youth how to prance their pampered ponies tonight there isn't a single ounce of common sense left in the entire house to stop me from doing something (or somethings) stupid.

The point? Well, if you're a veteran of my blog you'll know there frequently isn't one, but for all the new people I'll pretend I had one:

Thanks for stopping by, and, oh...cue the balloons I think we just got number 200!

Monday, June 13, 2011

Enter the Tiger

After a significant delay and a whole lot of procrastination, I have wrestled my altoholic (or should I say tankoholic) nature to the ground and finally bought (cue dramatic drums) the Tiger. My plan from the beginning was to do German Heavies, and Russian TD's but unfortunately I spent a lot of time on the Russian TD's before I realized that they just weren't for me.

Ah well, live and learn...maybe. I couldn't, of course, simply get the Tiger and get on with it...oh no, that would be too easy. I had managed to save up 75k in free experience and 2.1 million credits when I finally broke and decided to go on a spree. You see, the plan to get the Tiger was fighting for primacy with my desire to try out different tanks.......what about the American mediums, a voice whispered. You like the Ram II, don't you? Wouldn't you like to drive a Sherman? Of course you would.

And what about those Russian mediums. I hear they're pretty fast- maybe that's where your true calling lies- the old turn and burn. What could be the harm, the voices asked, in trying them all. A stronger man would have resisted. A player more dedicated to reaching the 'end game' would have laughed at those voices. The hell with you, he would have said.

That man, as you may have figured out, is not me. If I am anything, I am a dedicated, hard-core altoholic, and if you suffer from this terrible affliction you will know what I did. I got them all!

So much for wrestling my nature to the ground.

M3...I hope it plays better than it looks.

In Soviet Russia, the mediums come to you.

I don't care what anyone says. It's a Tiger. It's a Legend.

If you're thinking the Tiger looks a lot like the VK3601H (and who wouldn't be) you aren't wrong- they are the tank just before the Tiger and although they are classified as a medium they play a lot like a heavy with their heavily armored fronts. It's one of the reasons I do fairly well with it- I have a nasty habit of poking my nose out when I should be hiding and subsequently drawing fire.

The Baby Tiger.

When you transfer an experienced crew from one tank to another you lose the 100% (if you have managed to get them that high) experience rating (unless of course you pay some gold) but I've recently figured out that because you keep your special skills (repair, camouflage, or firefighting) it is a good idea to keep the same crew throughout if you are advancing up a line. If you want to keep a tank (as I often you can see by my garage) this may not work but right off the start I figure it's best to go with the 100% crew. I know I'll be using a German Heavy for a while and assume the same for the Russian mediums. I have no aspirations in the American mediums beyond the M4A3E8 Sherman (The Easy 8) but a maxed out crew now will only be better by the time I get there.

Wallet Warrior to the rescue then! I bought 100% crews on all three of my new acquisitions. I was going to buy the Lowe (7500 gold, or about $30) but have decided not to, so in fact, if you think about it, I've saved money by buying more tanks...or something like that anyway which helps me sleep at night (but not last night as I was up playing my new tanks).

So, how did my new tanks fare? Dear reader, I'm shocked you have to ask. I am a capable tanker, damn you! Or maybe not.


Dead, and on fire.

Dead again.
Well, no tank starts out with the greatest of equipment so, like any good craftsmen, I'm blaming my tools. Back to the practice range I guess.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Tank Justice

An interesting thing happned to me on the way to, wait that's not right.

Dear Pent.... nope, wrong one again.

Here we go:

I was playing WoT last night when I entered a random battle (as you do) with a bunch of Lowes (not a shock). The guys were making some good natured jokes using plays on the word 'low'. It was fun in a corny kind of way and I joined in with a few comments. The last thing I remember saying (it was after 12am so some wine may have parted my lips) was:

"Was that an Adam Sandler Quote?"

One of the other players then asked:

"Would you like a chat ban?"

I, of course, replied:


He said:

"You got it."

And then this:

I did what any good gamer should do, and sent customer support a complaint- it was after all, bullshit, if I may say so. Random players (staff I'm assuming) banning you during a game for no reason, with no warning, or with not explanation? That's crap.

Happily, my respose this morning (less than 9 hours after the incident):

Dear Player,

Sorry to have caused any inconvenience to you. Restrictions are removed, staff members applied misdirected sanctions are punished. Feel free to continue playing.

Best regards,
Steve Jansson

World of Tanks Support Service 

Winner: Me! Huzza.

My smart-ass, but not inappropriate mouth, can continue with its witty (I think) observations and comments today. Get in.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Fortuitous Friday: WTB

When they aren’t annoying me, or generally making me wish they didn’t exist, people are often my primary source of amusement. In most of these instances they don’t even realize they are being funny which makes it even funnier. 

One of my primary ‘go to’ places for a satisfying dose of humor-cum-stupidity is the electronic bulletin board at The Fish Factory. Hidden amongst the boring monotony of this for sale, that for rent, looking for whatever, are some real gems and I’d like to share a couple of them with you today.


For Dramatic Purposes Only

Posting for a friend: 
Nylon dog kennel, sets up and collapses in seconds. The owners bought it for their dog (St. Bernard) who out grew it before it was ever used. They paid $100 and are asking $50 firm.

Sorry, how big does a St.Bernard get again and was that really going to provide any useful purpose what-so-ever given his strength and weight?


27 blue plastic hangers
Excellent quality
Larger than infant hangers, smaller than adult hangers.

My Comment:
Really? NOT adult, and NOT infant...hmmmm, child-sized perhaps?


Cleaning out some stuff:

I have a 5 DVD Carmen Electra Aerobic Striptease workout set - includes lap dancing and I forget what else, google it. Will only sell as a set, asking $25.00, open to offers. 
I also have a Wedding Cake Serving Set from Hallmark, 'Raised Loop Hearts' design. Still in the box, silver plated. New condition, desperately needs a polish though. Bought new for $30 two years ago, asking $15.

My Comment: 

Might I humbly suggest that you keep and study the Striptease workout set and thereby increase the chances you get to use that 'still in the box' Wedding Cake Serving Set? That said now that everyone knows you had this for a while you may get an increase in the volume of invites for after-work drinks from male co-workers and some disapproving glares from female ones.

Yeesh, people! Happy Friday Everyone!