Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Mythic Finds Two War Vets Alive in Ancient Cave

Mythic Finds Two WAR Vets Alive in Ancient Cave
Grizzled Vets Unaware War Was Over

EA Mythic announced today that they had found two WAR vets alive in a forgotten cave near the Chaos camp in Nordland. The two veteran warriors were emaciated, and were physically and mentally exhausted from their ordeal. They were apparently unaware that the war was over and had continued to guard the objective in the hopes of getting more renown.

 “This long forgotten cave used to be a battle objective, but was abandoned after we decided that players shouldn’t have to spread themselves out in an anti-zerging manner.” EA Mythic stated in a press release.
The developers who found them were set upon by the confused veterans who mistook them for the enemy. “It’s a common problem,” developers admitted “both in-game and out.” The veterans were extremely confused and disoriented, and apparently thought they were still on the open-rvr server Eltharion. That server was closed long ago, and the last few players were transferred off to other areas of the dwindling conflict..

“We decided that having an open pvp server in a game which focuses entirely on pvp was simply not viable,” developers stated. “I mean, come on, do you really think a bunch of pvp-focused players want world-pvp? Trust me, we very attuned to what our player base wants and that is a move away from pvp toward a quest for gear.”

As for the weary WAR veterans, developers stated that they would immediately provide them with haircuts, free rvr packs, and some complimentary game time. “We have to take care of our veteran players,” Mythic stated. “If we were to ignore them, or worse yet, treat them like idiots, our player-base might be drastically reduced and nobody wants that.”       

The veterans are expected to write a biography about their experiences.


  1. /slowclap

    Beautiful. I used to run up to the Lagoon just to see the old sights. I remembered having great fights in there standing up on the rocks and shooting down at the people who would run in to take it. Taking this BO out was just another of so many dumb calls. Never stop mocking Mythic.

  2. Ya, lol, I remember when I re-subbed after a break and rushed over to cap it and it was gone! It was the only opportunity to avoid the T1 zerg and get into some smaller scale battles.

    Bloody Warhammer. It just pisses me off to think about it some days- It coulda been a contenda!