Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Serial: It's Not Just For Killing Or Uneducated Breakfast Eaters Anymore

Much like the great writers of long ago (make what you will of that comparison) I have decided that I will serialize some of my blog posts. A few of my ideas, such as reviews on games that I am playing, or various other brilliant (I think) ideas, are a bit long, or just unfinished. Like Dickens I will write some of them as I go because there are times I haven't played through certain aspects of a game, but would like to get some of the information down while it's fresh in my mind. It will also allow me to play whilst blogging and so long as I can continue gaming, I am a happy Gankalicious.

At the moment I am actually doing a lot of gaming. Maybe too much. Wait, who said that? How dare you, sir, suggest that it's possible to do too much gaming. Pistols at dawn, or at the very least a duel in Praag- no Gutter Runners allowed.

I do have a full gaming-plate: I'm currently Alpha testing RIFT, toying with testing a game called Gods and Heroes: Rome Rising, trying to learn the basics of Xsyon, debating playing Earthrise when it launches (February 1st I believe), and then there is still poor old Mount and Blade: Warband, which I bought a week ago and has been languishing on my shelf (or in my Western Digital external hard drive) ever since. Plaaaaay meeee, it beckons. I'm literally swamped with gaming which is 'happy days' as far as I'm concerned, although She Who Will Be Named Later may or may not be losing patience with the whole 'gaming thing'. That's a small (enormous) lie really. She's well used to it by now. We are very much a couple who communicates and expresses our views openly, and honestly, and besides which, we agreed: If I gave up smoking heroin during the week I would be allowed to keep playing games. Everybody wins! Huzzah!

So stay tuned for the 1st installment (due tomorrow) when I will begin talking about Xsyon: Earth 2012 (which better release on time or its in danger of being historical rather than futuristic). Until then, whet your appetite on a serial that I co-wrote with 'ole Chucky in 1837.

Oliver Twist Meets Gankalicious

The evening arrived; the readers took their places. Gankalicious, in his cook's uniform, stationed himself at the copper; his pauper assistants ranged themselves behind him; the gruel was served out; and a long blog post was said over the short commons. The gruel disappeared; the boys whispered each other, and winked at Oliver; while his next neighbours nudged him. Child as he was, he was desperate with hunger, and reckless with misery. He rose from the table; and advancing to Gankalicious, basin and spoon in hand, said: somewhat alarmed at his own temerity: 

'Please, sir, I want some more.'

Gankalicious was an incredibly handsome, funny man; but he turned very pale. He gazed in stupified astonishment on the small rebel for some seconds, and then clung for support to the copper. The assistants were paralysed with wonder; the boys with fear.

'What!' said Gankalicous at length, in a faint voice.

'Please, sir,' replied Oliver, 'I want some more.'

Gankalicious aimed a blow at Oliver's head with the ladle; pinioned him in his arm; and shrieked aloud for the beadle.

The board were sitting in solemn conclave, when Mr. Bumble rushed into the room in great excitement, and addressing the gentleman in the high chair, said, 

'Mr. Limbkins, I beg your pardon, sir! Oliver Twist has asked for more!'
There was a general start. Horror was depicted on every countenance.

'For MORE!' said Mr. Limbkins. 'Compose yourself, Bumble, and answer me distinctly. Do I understand that he asked for more, after he had eaten the supper allotted by Gankalicious?'

'He did, sir,' replied Bumble.

Cheeky bastard, thought Limbkins. 'Send him to Gorfang,' he said finally 'If Taransula doesn't get him then Mythic's lethal customer service will surely finish him off.'

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